Enlightenment Not

Moth To Flame

5 years has passed.

5 years of immersing myself in philosophy and spirituality. I absorbed the wisdom from The East and West.

Ancient emperors spoke words mirroring ours. Stories of princes leaving their kingdoms and saints retreating into sacred mountains.

I listened to the words of individuals who understood the essence of a human being, words that still ignite my heart to this day.

5 years has passed.

Within that time, I became attracted to this gem called Enlightenment.

The state Zen masters attained, living in harmony and freedom from suffering.

What Jesus lived and died for. What Buddha sought and became.

...and I wanted THAT.

For years, Enlightenment consumed my thoughts, occupying my mind 24/7.

5 years has passed.

I traveled and followed The Path...and The Path led me Nowhere.

I attained Nothing. Zip. Zero. Empty. Nada.

I did everything the enlightened did. I read the books. I meditated for hours. I "became" present.

I went into The Void. I saw The Ego for what it is. I saw The Self for what it is not.

Yet, The Mind remained taunting.

“Thanks for playing. See you next time.” It teases.

So. Much. Time. Wasted.

I was desperate to seek That. But never questioned, what is “That”? Is “That” even real?

Like a moth to a flame.

Believing the light to be The Moon and flying towards a false light.

I am The Moth and Enlightenment is my false light.

This, That, and The Others (Breakdown)

Was it a waste of time? To seek the “Truth about all things”? In becoming a "spiritual" person?

Most of it, yes. It was a complete waste of time.

But there's a silver lining in my foolishness.

Spirituality, like science, is valuable not in having the right answers, but in asking the right questions. Asking the right questions is fundamental.

I will address the fundamental questions in the following order:

• Why Enlightenment?
• What is Enlightenment?
• Who is Enlightened?

The De-illusion

Why Enlightenment?

First, a confession.

If you asked me 5 years ago about seeking Enlightenment, I would have proclaimed what every "spiritual" person says, "I seek Truth."

I still seek this...quietly.

But to become an enlightened being? To become a Buddha? To become a Zen master? I do not seek to become any of the sort anymore. Why?

Because it's a lie. How? Because I'm the lie.

Even though I believed myself to be sincere, I didn’t seek Enlightenment to know "Truth."

I sought Enlightenment to seek the stillness of The Mind. To master it. To silence the infinite chatter.

"To live perfectly and equanimous” is what I desired. But this is NOT what Enlightenment is about.

I wasn’t Truth-seeking, I was pleasure-seeking.

I wasn’t understanding The Mind, I was trying to control it.

I wasn’t destroying the ego, I was chasing it.

I had ulterior motives and not a sincere one. I was insincere and disingenuous.

Thus, my burning desire to become "enlightened" never got me started.

"The world is not the illusion. You are!"
— U.G. Krishnamurti.

The Babbling of Angels

What is Enlightenment?

What is Enlightenment? I’ve heard descriptions about Enlightenment, but not Enlightenment itself. So what is it?

In the spiritual market, it gets fuzzy and cloudy. Oh, the irony.

“Enlightenment is eternal bliss, God connection, love and kindness in all things.”

“Enlightenment is the nothingness and emptiness in all things.”

The former is said by poets, all fluffy talk. The latter is said by those who haven’t seen the other side. They haven't gone all the way through.

Let’s drop all romanticism that muddles communication.

From my understanding, Enlightenment is only that: Understanding.

Enlightenment is less a noun, but more a verb. It’s not a thing, it’s a doing. It’s simply understanding.

Enlightenment. Is. Understanding.

Don't. Move. From. That.

I say “don’t move” because the utterance of the word, “enlightenment” quickly becomes an idea.

All ideas are weak representations and projections. They‘re dirtied perceptions of seeing things as they are.

Enlightenment is the de(con)struction of all ideas, including the idea of enlightenment.

Jed McKenna describes it as "The Unprogrammed State."

(Note: I hesitate to quote any spiritual teachers or holy books because it’s a slippery slope to an appeal authority. Enlightenment destroys authority.)

The Unprogrammed State is when you don’t identify with anything. To identify is to egoify. If you can’t egoify, you can’t identify. Therefore, you kill identity.

To kill identity is to kill ego. To kill Ego is the dissolution of The Self. That’s "Enlightenment."

I like Jed’s description. However, I'd argue if you do identify with everything, you‘re enlightened too if you're aware of it.

If you’re aware, you can understand. If you understand, you’re free.

If you're free, there's no ego. If there's no ego, there's no self.

If there's no self, you’re enlightened.

Like God, Enlightenment is a dirty word because it's used by everyone.

Everyone‘s attached to their idea of Enlightenment—including myself.

In reality, Enlightenment is two words: WAKE. UP.

Wake Up. Who are you? What are you? What is true? Here and now.

It’s not the "raising" of consciousness. It's finally becoming conscious.

It’s not a movement, it’s the stopping of moving.

It’s not holiness, it's wholeness.

It's not seeing things with new eyes, it's finally using them.

Etymologically, the word "enlightenment" means “to shed light upon." Aside from The Sun, what sheds more light than Understanding?

Who Are Enlightened?

“As unnecessary as a well is to a village on the banks of a river, so unnecessary are all scriptures to someone who has seen the truth.”

— Krishna, Bhagavad Gita.

If you dabbled in spirituality, you're familiar with the statement, “I seek Truth."

But what is this Truth with a capital T, you speak of? What is this Truth you claim you attained? What is this Truth you possess?

As if Truth is something you can own and hold.

"The Truth is there is no Self." Everyone in the spiritual marketplace says and knows this.

Marketplace: to sell & buy. Ocean of quotes. Books upon books. Books about said books. Read by millions. Words passed down for generations.

There's an infinite amount of truth seekers. Is everyone enlightened?

There's only been one Jesus and Buddha. Is everyone misunderstanding?

Am I misunderstanding? If so, please enlighten me.

Because I’ve wasted years on my pursuit of Enlightenment. Only for me to realize there’s nothing to pursue.

Teachers…gurus…enlightened beings…I’ve heard them all.

The more I heard them speak, the more I realized they‘re simply people.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But you don’t view them as people. You view them as something more devious and ugly. You view them as ideas—the greatest sin.

Ideas are labels. Labels are words. All words miss. That’s where the word, “sin” comes from. Sin means “to miss.”

To miss is to misunderstand. Words "miss" because they create a separation.

If an enlightened being states “I’m enlightened. You’re not.” This is invalid.

It's invalid because it produces a separation from others. To be separate is egoic which contradicts the notion of "No-Self" for there is no other.

Note: I don’t question the validity of enlightened beings. I’m sure there are. But like words, I don’t trust them: Not. A. Single. One.

Not because they have ill intent it’s because I’m not them. I can’t peek into their heads and investigate.

It’s impossible and unfalsifiable. Therefore, it’s a waste of time to prove or disprove.

But the greater waste is your attempt to mimic them.

“That person is enlightened. I admire and learn so much from them.

I want to be like them. If I do what they do, I can get that too.”

Stop.

You’re too eager to go There when you don’t see where you are Here.

You're too quick to jump into The Later instead of seeing where you are Now.

You want to become like them when you don’t see what you are.

We are evolutionary creatures which means we are contentious creatures.

Contention is in our nature. If we don’t contend with anything, we'll contend with ourselves.

But to contend with ourselves is to contend with Nothing, a ghost and a made-up story.

With evolution comes the narrative, we're creatures who create stories for ourselves to fill in gaps.

Even as I write this, I’m creating a narrative. We‘re story-tellers. We have stories or stories have us.

But underneath everything, it's all blank. Go far enough, you see there’s nothing.

With Enlightenment, there are no superpowers. There’s no state to achieve. No angels. No fanfares. No levitation. No special abilities. Nothing otherworldly.

Remove everything, all that remains is You.

I say "You" as someone who is not separate because You are of Nature. Those you deem so high are of Nature too.

Buddha, Jesus, Stoics, Mystics, etc. They're all ordinary.

Leave their words. Sing songs with your voice, not theirs.

This isn’t to bring them down but to raise you up.

You're not separate, but you‘re doing the separating. It’s not their fault, it’s yours.

They’re calling you home. You feel a pull towards them because you feel they're similar to you.

But they aren't "similar" to you or “different” from you. They are you.

There’s no two, only one.

This realization expresses itself to The Infinite.

The Infinite is The Universe. The Universe is Nature. Nature is perfect and You are of Nature.

Therefore, like "them", you’re perfect. Isn’t that enough to satisfy your ego? Better yet, dissolve it?

Human Once More

A friend and I once conversed about religion and our place in the world. At one point in the exchange, she stated…

"But who am I to know and understand the secrets of the universe?"

She said with humility, beauty, and grace.

I knew where she was coming from, but I couldn’t help but feel insulted by her words.

Why? Because I am The Universe.

There is no "Universe and Me." The Universe Is Me...and You are part of Me.

For her to speak low of herself is to speak low of all of us.

If we so choose, it's our birthright to discover, know, and own every secret in the universe, and hold them in the palm of our hands.

I think of Earth and I See our place Here. We may be small, but our roots in the cosmic garden run deep.

Yet, we’ve forgotten the one and only Truth.

The one Truth we arrived with and The only Truth we'll leave with.

You. Are. Human.

It may sound obvious. But for so long, we haven't been.

We've twisted ourselves into these demons called ideas. Ideas turned us into caricatures, distorted and crooked.

No, this is not a plea to embrace our flawed nature. This is a call to realize we're flawed because we've left Nature.

We are seekers of knowledge, wielders of magic, violent with dreams and nightmares.

We're self-fearing creatures with volcanic desires that could engulf the world.

We're celestial beings who can also save and nurture one another with Love and compassion.

We're the creator and destroyer of God. Humanity is not of Divinity. Divinity is of Humanity.

I will not embrace the Human experience. I am the Human experience.

“To err is to be Human" is an error in itself.

To be Human is the ultimate. To be Human is the pinnacle.

Jesus was born Human and died Human. Buddha arrived Human and returned Human.

This is Enlightenment.

• Enlightenment is to realize you're nothing more or less than Human.
• Enlightenment is to realize we strayed from Nature and return to it.
• Enlightenment is to kill spirituality and religion to resurrect The Human.
• Enlightenment is extraordinarily ordinary.
• Enlightenment is realizing it's nothing, but a word.

Good, bad, right, wrong, Self or No-Self, discard these filthy curses called words. They hold nothing.

Understand. Understand thy nature. Understand thou art Nature.

Live with the understanding of what is innate within you.

For myself, I do get angry and I do get prideful. I do care and I do love.

When I do, I do as I do. I understand this to the nth degree.

What's right? What's wrong? Doesn't matter. I’ll no longer condemn myself. As long as my aim is to be true.

Maybe I’m delusional.

Maybe I'm jealous of those who are truly enlightened.

Maybe I'm laying down the sword to give up the fight. Accepting I will never be “That”.

Maybe writing this is to accept defeat and remain a prisoner to my Ego and attachments.

Maybe.

But what do I know for sure? With absolute certainty.

I know...

I write this not as an enlightened being or an unenlightened being.

I write this not as a spiritual being or a religious being.

I write this as a human being.

I write this as I am.

In that, I am free.