Understanding Desire & Suffering

The Invisible Weight of Desire

We're all looking for what is missing in our lives. In that, comes suffering.

Though the names differ, we all yearn for one of the pillars of happiness:

“I want Health. I want Wealth. I want Love.”

There is a pattern here, “I want...”, a desire.

To live a fulfilling life and free ourselves from suffering, we need to get fundamental about Desire.

What is Desire?

“Desire is suffering.” - The Buddha

Suffering is the state of being in pain. “Suffering” is synonymous with “bad.” If you ask any human being, suffering is to be avoided at all costs.

But every human being desires.

If Desire occurs in all human beings, with no exceptions, it must mean that it is in our nature. Nature is neither good nor bad. Nature simply is.

If Desire is of Nature and Nature is not bad (or good), then Desire cannot be bad.

What is Desire exactly?

Desire is a signal. It is not the cause of suffering, but a messenger for it. Desire is a finger pointing where to look into suffering, a guide. Whether or not we have the courage to look into our desire and endure "the pain" of doing so is up to us.

What Do I Desire?

Ironically many do not ask this question seriously, but this is paramount.

"What exactly do I want?"

Everyone asks, “What is the solution to my problems…How do I get that?… Tell me the way to achieve this?”

In the self-help and "how-to-achieve success" market, there are thousands of methods, techniques, books, blog posts, coaches, mentors, etc.

Sure, these can prove themself to be useful from time to time. But…

All advice is utterly useless if the person never asks themselves,
“What do I desperately want? What exactly is THE problem?"

• What is it?
• What is The Want?
• What do YOU want?
• What is it precisely?

One must ask these questions with complete precision and total honesty.

Warning: Be very careful not to answer too quickly...because Nature is most clever.

With every desire, there's a desire under the desire.

The following were my problem-desires in the past years...

Health-
Problem: "I'm overweight."
Desire: “I constantly want food.”
Desire Under the Desire: "I want to escape pain over my self-image."

Wealth-
Problem: "I have no money."
Desire: "I need money."
Desire Under the Desire: "I want freedom."

Love-
Problem: "I'm lonely."
Desire: "I need a romantic partner."
Desire Under the Desire: "I want to employ a person for my emotions."

• My search for a romantic partner wasn't about a lack of a partner. It was a search for my identity.
• My need for more money is not about getting more things, but to gain independence and competence.
• My food addiction wasn't about enjoying food. It was about escaping the pain of my self-image.

The solution to any problem is never the solution. It is about defining the problem with absolute precision.

Where to begin?

You need to see it. Face it. Question it directly: What is happening? What exactly is this? Where is this coming from?

Again, Desire is a signal. It is pointing towards something.

For example,

Headache Scenario: Person A and Person B both have a headache.

• Person A: Feels the headache and immediately takes headache medicine.
• Person B: Inquires before he takes medicine and asks if he drank enough water today.
• Person B drinks water and the headache is gone by tomorrow. Person A alleviates the headache today, but it comes back tomorrow and the next day.

This is Desire and many only accept the temporary medicine.

We can either fight the symptoms on the surface; letting it come back time and time again or we can inquire about the problem and cure it at the source.

Why Do I Want? (The Source of Suffering)

After going through enough merry-go-rounds of Desire, you bravely ask the following...

• "Why do I want in the first place?"
• "Where does all this come from?"
• "Where is Desire?"
• "What is the source?"

...and there is only one source.

The source of one desire is the source of all desires...The Mind.

The Mind is the craving machine. The Mind is the original supercomputer. So far, its greatest computation is you.

The Mind is a problem-solver. All problem-solvers thrive, not on solutions, but on problems. If The Mind cannot find a problem, it will create one.

Please note: The Mind is not the enemy. It simply became wild and rampant over time. The understood Mind can be your greatest ally. An unobserved Mind is certainly your greatest foe.

In understanding the intricacies of The Mind, you see the way The Mind moves and where it moves.

In knowing how The Mind moves, You begin to move. This ever-so-slight movement is you slowly separating yourself from The Mind and its wild antics.

For so long, The Mind has been constantly dragging you through the dirt and the mud. Why? Because you were chained to its every movement.

You don't have to be attached to The Mind. You can break the chain and move freely. You can go beyond it.

"The Mind can go anywhere it wishes. You need not go With it.
The mind can entertain any thoughts that it wishes.
They have nothing to do with you.
For you are not the mind."

- Atmamun by Kapil Gupta

To free ourselves from The Mind, we need to understand. To understand, we need to see. To see requires insight. Insight is inner sight.

Note: There is no "how-to-conquer The Mind" because The Mind cannot be conquered. You cannot remove desires because Desire is in our nature.

The Mind and Desire cannot be stopped, but they can be understood. Freedom arrives through understanding.

Before understanding, we need to observe. Once observed, The Mind loses its grasp on you, and Desires no longer torment you.

‘When Tao harmonizes the world, demons lose their power.
Not that demons lose their power, but their power does not harm people."
- Tao Te Ching by Lao-Tzu